Monday, May 15, 2023

Life-Changing Advice from a Navy Seal: Uncover His Secret to Beating Lif...

 


Jason Redman, retired Navy SEAL shares life changing advice to beating life's ambush.  Jason was ambushed in battle and shot 8 times including on round to the face. Jason believes he survived this ambush by tapping into his, overcome mindset. In this episode Jason teaches the difference between:

  • a micro life ambush
  • a mini life ambush
  • a major life ambush
  • How to spot the warning signs of a life ambush
  • How to move forward after a major life ambush
  • What is situational awareness
  • How to become your own point man

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Bio

Retired Navy SEAL Lieutenant Jason Redman electrifies audiences around the world with his high-energy presentations on leadership, failure, redemption, catastrophic injury, and his breathtaking journey to “overcome all” in the aftermath of wartime enemy ambush and in the face of what he calls life ambushes during the years that followed.

During his 21-year Navy career, Jason spent 11 years as an enlisted SEAL and 10 years as a SEAL officer leading teams in combat operations in Iraq and Afghanistan. Today he puts his vast experience and expertise to work as a speaker, coach, author, and trainer, helping individuals, teams and organizations of all types and sizes to define and implement lasting change, even in the wake or face of failure, crisis and adversity.

He’s lived through it all at the highest level in his Navy SEAL career: From failures as a young leader that resulted in him almost being kicked out of the SEAL teams, to redemption and leading teams in intense combat operations in Iraq, to being shot eight times, including a round to the face, and nearly dying during an enemy ambush, Jason has lived the OVERCOME Mindset he now teaches others. He has done an incredible job of taking these lessons learned and making them relatable to teams, businesses, and organizations around the world.

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Walking into an ambush on the battle field

Myrna: Can you share your story of walking into an ambush as a Navy Seal and the, overcome mindset, you had to survive being shot several times.

Jason: I'm super blessed individual. I just could not survive that ambush that night without some kind of a miracle. We'll talk about the, overcome mindset, and how that translates to other aspects of life later in the interview. It was an intense night, it was a night at the very end of our deployment as, Navy SEALs. One of our jobs is something we call direct action. We go after the mid-level and high level leaders across the battlefield.

That was one of our jobs, when I was in Iraq and we were tracking both outside in and through leadership across with my troops were focused on the weapon western province of Iraq. So, a lot of people are familiar with Iraq, a very dangerous place. We were actually based out of Volusia and tracking leaders.  On September 13, 2007, we went after the number one leader for the outside organization in the Anbar Province, the western province of Iraq. A pretty dangerous guy.

We've been tracking all deployment.  He had been responsible for and ran multiple sniper cells, IV shells, attack cells. He had shot down a Marine Corps helicopter in the fall of 2006. Killing the whole crew on board and they lost five individual and run out of the building across the street.

So, on this night we got orders that he was at this place. We got there and even though there was no one there we noticed some suspicious activity in the building a few yards away. My team leader said hey, I want you to take your team, you know, walk these individuals down let's find out who they are in question. And make a long story short, our enemy leader had been in the first house that we were in right now.

He had moved to the house that was about 150 yards away that we were now moving on and his security detail and shut off a very, very well staged enemy ambush we estimate about 15 shooters with two large machine guns and my team and I walked right into this ambush.

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My overcome mindset helped me survive

My medic, a fellow Navy seal, took a round of bullets right below the knee which almost took his leg off. One of our other guys ran forward to grab him and tried to move him back behind us. There was kind of a bar, there was one tree and a large like John Deere tractor tire and they pull and drag our medic and himself back.

He himself was shot three times while doing this. I was out front and I was trying to shoot and lay down fire. It was at this point I had both machine guns turned on me and I was hit eight times between my body armor and my body I took two rounds in the left elbow which in the moment I thought it shot my arm off.

I took rounds off my weapon and my right-side plates. I turned around to see what was happening with my team and that's when I caught around in the face. That hit me right in front of the ear. Travel through my face took off my nose, blew out my right cheekbones, vaporized my oval floor, broke all the bones in my face and knocked me out. I was pinned down in front of my guys. They continue to fight the enemy. There's this very intense gunfight occurring with me pinned down on the ground and had literally bullets traveling around me.

I came to probably we don't know the timeline. We know the entire gunfight lasted about 40 minutes. So, when I woke up after about 10 mins, I realized that was in a really bad situation. I called out to my team leader and he realized Holy smokes, you know, Red still alive, and they started to extract me. I owe my life to my teammates. I owe my life to an Air Force aircraft called an AC 130 gunship that brought in the closest fire mission.  Meaning they brought rounds in from the aircraft to the ground at military speeds. My team leader did an amazing job coordinating this in between fire and ran forward and got me and hold me back to where they were about a tourniquet on my mangled arms really saved my life.

But the whole time this was happening. There were several things and we'll come full circle now to a little bit of the, overcome mindset. I knew I had lost a lot of blood. I'd lost a lot of blood between my arm and my face and my injuries. And we go through a lot of, trauma medicine, and special operations training. We're probably trained up to the level of a patient, emergency medical technician that would ride around an ambulance. I knew all the signs. I knew that I was going to what we call, hypovolemic shock, from blood loss. I was struggling to breathe.

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In our last moments we think only of our loved ones

And in final moments, I was still pinned down and I started to think that I may die here, I was dying. I was I was literally bleeding out and dying. And there were several things that went through my mind when I was lying there dying but not once did I think about stuff. You know in this life we're all focused on stuff and trust me I like stuff. You know, I love my house. I love you know some of the nice things we have. But I also recognize every day that all that stuff can be gone in an instant. The people you love are all you're going to care about in the final moments in your life, because that's all I thought about.

I thought about my wife and kids and how I would do anything to have another moment just to say I love you. And it was at that point that I also I called out to God. I really need help. I need strength. And that enabled me to have some strength which I can't explain. But I will tell you this, this thought popped into my head in that moment and the thought was this. Stay awake to stay alive.

And if you've ever been severely injured, or something bad has happened you reach a point where physiologically your body wants to shut down and you will become extremely fatigued. And that's what happened. I wanted to go to sleep. I wanted to just let go and go to sleep, but I know I had to stay awake to stay alive and I knew that if I made it to the military hospital, I would live.

The military emergency room. I knew the statistics, from operating overseas that if our if we got our soldiers or wounded warriors to the hospital and they still had a pulse, they had a 90% chance of making it home alive. So that was my focus. You know, stay awake, stay alive, stay awake, stay alive and this stuff there's so many nuances and stories but the bottom line is that's exactly what happened. My teammates managed to get me on the medivac helicopter metabolic and I survived.  My team leader helped me off and I walked 75 yards and got on the helicopter under my own power.

That is the, overcome mindset, and it is this mindset that says I'm not going to give in, I'm going to push until I succeed. I survived this vicious enemy ambush, but everybody gets ambushed in the life. It may not be the bullets and bombs in battle, but it is the bullets and bombs of life. And when you're on the X and the X is what we talked about, point of attack, point in crisis, the point of the incident. We all feel as overwhelmed as if you are on a battle field with bullets flying all around you. You think you're going to die because your marriage ended or your child died. And it is in those moments where we have the ability to drive forward and push ourselves a little further and get off that X, point of attack.

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Major life Ambushes

Myrna: Wow, what a story. I had to fight back tears when you talked about lying on the ground thinking you were dying and wanting one more moment with your wife and kids. Thank you for your service to the United States of America, Jason. I heard you talk about, life ambushes, and the fact that we all have about 5 and I immediately started counting mine!  So, I want to talk about why you think first of all that we get five ambushes in life.

Jason: So the five ambushes came about from interviewing people and just kind of an informal poll.  In order to understand what is a, life ambush, we have to break them down.

There are 3 types of, life ambushes.

There are,

  • micro ambushes,
  • mini ambushes,
  • major life ambushes.

I talked about the average of five those are the, major life ambushes, and the majors are devastated. They will forever leave scars forever.  I'll come back and we'll come back full circle for the, major life ambushes.

The interesting thing, about the X, the point of attack, the point of an incident, the point of the crisis, it's the point of any adversity, everybody in life, finds himself on the X at some point in life. Everyone walks on this X at some point. In battle, we were taught you have to get off the X, point of attack  as quickly as possible because the longer you sit on the X, the harder it is to move forward.

And this is true in any aspect of your life.  If it's a, mental ambush, and you're stuck on the action in your mind, and we all get stuck there and these are these, micro ambushes, they come every day. It's that little voice in your head that says you're not good enough. You're not strong enough. You're the wrong race, creed, color, gender, demographic, etc.

So those are my core ambushes and they come all the time. The formula is the same for all of these, you have to get off the X as quickly as possible. So, my motto I overcome and drive forward and get off that X.

The second level of Ambush is what I call a, mini ambush. And these are I find this fascinating because I meet people all the time who will they'll use the phrase, oh, I had a bad day. And I'm fascinated with this because I'll always say what's the tell me about your bad day and 90% of the time when people use it. They did not really have a bad day. So, I've tried to erase this phrase from my vocabulary. I actually have an entire line of clothing called “No Bad days”

Myrna: What are the, major life ambushes?

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What are major life ambushes

Jason: Sometimes many ambushes, we did it for ourselves. And now we have to navigate through the journey of figuring out how to drive forward.

  • It could be life threatening ailments or injury to you or someone you loved.
  • Sexual trauma to you or someone you love.
  • Maybe the loss of a loved one including the highest one, the loss of a child.

Most people we polled have about five of these, major life ambushes, in their lifetime. I've seen people with more. I know people that have had 10. I myself, I'm getting ready to turn 48, I've had four, major life ambushes. I'd love to get through life with no more.

Myrna: When I heard you speaking, I started counting my, major life ambushes.

Jason: But the here is the fact, the, major life ambushes, are devastating. And I tell people they will they will be permanent scars. They will leave permanent physical, mental, or emotional or the financial scars. And when we look back on those, major life ambushes, they will always hurt. The, minor life ambushes, and the, micro life ambushes, they're in your head, they are schedule disruptions, a couple years later, you'll barely remember them.

But here's the amazing thing about, major life ambushes. I talked about this in the TED Talk.  The, major life ambushes, frequently are the end of something that occurred in your life. It may be the end of a relationship, it may be the end of the job, or maybe the end of your health, your innocence.  Whatever it is, oftentimes what the amazing thing is and once you develop the, overcome mindset, you’re going to figure out how to drive forward and when we figured out how to drive forward no matter how painful it is, the ones that I've been through, so often it becomes a new beginning.

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Every major life ambush builds an overcome mindset

And when you get to the other side of that journey when you climb through the pain and the misery and storms and the darkness, I can tell you probably 95% of the people, get to the other side saying you know it really was hard. I do not ever want to go to the gym, but it's one of the best things that ever happened to me because I grew and got better and, major life ambushes, build us up. Every, major life ambush, no matter how painful they are, they help build an, overcome mindset. You cannot just flip a switch and suddenly have an, overcome mindset.

So when these bad things happen. I don't want to tell you to celebrate that they happen. I know that that's probably a stretch, but instead just lean into it and say okay, I know I have to get to the other side. I have to overcome. I have to get off the edge. Somewhere out there, the sun still shines and I will find that sunlight once again and when I do it's going to be a new path.

I try to explain to people with, major life ambushes, a lot of times people waste a lot of time focused on I want back what I lost. I want to repair this relationship. I want my job back; I want my business back. I lost all this money and I want it back. I want the lifestyle I had before I was severely injured like me, I want my health back. And the reality is it’s gone and never coming back. We have to focus on is how do I get to my new 100% I may not be able to fix what's broken, I embrace the open door. But you know, so many people are focused on the past. We have to focus on the future now. And how do we shape our future? And when we do that, that becomes our new path that becomes our new 100%.

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Major life ambushes always leaves clues

Myrna: that is that is so true. We are always focused on the closed door and not the open door in front of us. So, you said that, major life ambushes, leave clues.  I can understand that a divorce leaves clues. You mentioned that when you walked in to the ambush on the battlefield, you noticed certain signs but you ignored them.  So how does that missing the clues in an ambush in the battlefield and missing the clues of a, major life ambush, in real life? Give us the correlation.

Jason: I have an online course that I teach called The Point Man For Life course. And point men are navigators and leaders in the military. They're very talented individuals, they get us where we need to go. You have to be, the point man, and it's for your own life. You have to be the one that sets your course that understands where you're going.  So, these indicators are the things that many of us through normal human activity. Either choose to ignore, or, procrastinate, we do all kinds of things. I mean, I break these things down.

You know, sometimes it's a blatant sign and I use a stop sign in my course. Like we just ignore it no different than somebody who is not paying attention. And they drive through an intersection and miss that stop sign. And they get hit by a car. Well, you know, afterwards, they're like, yeah, you missed this stop sign. That's, that's a really bleak one. But it happens all the time. It happens in businesses, it happens in relationships. If your spouse is constantly saying, hey, we've lost our intimacy or we're not talking as much anymore if we continue to ignore or just flat out, not pay attention to that, you are going to end up divorced. And then you say, I did not see it coming.

Myrna: Yeah, that's one of the ones I figured out because there's signs that the relationship is ending.

https://youtu.be/8JmBYvz4mhE

Signs of an ambush

Jason: Sometimes they're more subtle. Sometimes they can be helped. I know a lot of people who have health issues and like, oh, this is really been bothering me, but I'm just going to ignore it. And I'm amazed by how many people will do this because they're afraid of what could happen. And I tell people, you cannot procrastinate, deny or ignore. Those are dangerous things to do, because you're setting yourself up for a, life ambush. I give the example of a friend who was overweight who was successful business guy, but he was overweight. He wasn't taking care of himself physically.

The doctor was like, hey, you really need to start taking care of yourself and start working out. You need to watch your nutrition, you're a ticking time bomb for a heart attack. And, you know, he talked to me about working out and I said, yeah, you can do this. You do that and he never really did it. And then like a year later he had a heart attack and he's like, why did this happen? The signs were there, but no, you ignored them. And so many people do this in life.

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How does situational awareness help in an ambush

Myrna: You also teach about, situational awareness. Tell us what that is.

Jason: So, I teach, situational awareness, in this society, that has to do with awareness and reaction time. We live in this world where we're all stuck scrolling our cell phones and I can't tell you how many people I have watched walking around, and they're totally absorbed in that cell phone, which means they're not paying attention to the world around them. I'm highly trained. I try to train other people up to a basic level. One of the things that we do in our, overcoming survive workshop is awareness and get out of that situation before it ever occurs.

So, you see things before they happen, you see the signs of the ambush. You are noticing the indicators before it ever develops into an ambush and you don't allow yourself to get on the X, the point of attack. You don't walk into that situation. So sometimes you can't help it. And that's where awareness and a little bit of training come in. I really encourage everybody out there to have some level of training for self-defense. I know that your target audience is women. I know there are a lot of women who are afraid of firearms. But I really encourage you learn to use a firearm.

We live in a country that whether you agree with it or not. A firearm can be the great equalizer if someone is coming after you and trying to break into your house or trying to rape or take your kids.  There is a level of training that needs to exist with that and I firmly believe we should get that.

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The Point Man Planner

Tell us about your book The Point Man Planner. What you hope people to walk away with after getting this planner?

Jason: The Point Man Planner, came from the things that I've put in my life. They're also things that I saw in the military and some of these things are interchangeable. I just use a military Special Operations term. So, the idea around this, is that there's four-point man principles that everybody should follow.

  1. Relentless belief in mission: This is what makes a successful point man and what makes successful Navy Seals, but also what makes anybody successful. Mission is synonymous with purpose. I know a lot of people who don't really know who they are. The beginning of the point man planner starts with what are your values?
  2. I mean a lot of people who don't truly know their values, they will they will throw out the cliché values that everybody likes to throw out.  Fitness, family, spirituality but they are the individual that's never in the gym. Now they aren't doing much with their family, they're sure not in church. So those aren't really their values. Your values are what drive your decision.
  3. Have a clearly defined destination and course. Your destination is your long-term goals where do you want to go 10 years from now, where do you want to be?

What a Point Man does

Myrna: Can I interject here? That was the most one of the most beautiful things when you said that when you were in a mission, your point man pinpoints the exact location, not somewhere around a city but the exact number on the map.

Jason: Yeah, so we have to be very specific because most people are not just oh, I want to be rich. Okay, well, what does that mean? You know, I want you know, I want a big house. Okay, well, where and what is your look like? So, you must be very specific to establish because if it's not very specific, that we can establish all the steps to get there, and that becomes our course.  The course becomes all the steps required to get to where we're going. And this is constantly changing our lives, change our hopes, tunes, our desires.

  1. Develop the, overcome mindset: We've established our course, we know our mission, we have our purpose. Well, how do we avoid the ambushes or at least try and reduce them and I'm constantly checking, where are we at? Are we on course and, overcome mindset, to get off the gas because guess what? Life ambushes, are coming. I tell people you're either in a, life ambush, you're coming out, or there's one on the horizon.

Conclusion

You can pick up the Point Man Planner on Amazon or you can find everything on my website www.Jasonredman.com . Follow me on social media.  Every Monday I put out a video called Monday monster and it's just positive content on preparing for,  life ambushes.


Additional Resources 

https://myhelps.us/life-mastery-7-habits-create-success/

Thursday, May 11, 2023

Shocking Truth: Fixing the Root VS Fruit - What You Didn't Know!

 

Fixing the root and not the fruit. You can’t change the fruit without changing the root. Fixing the root, means we must change our, limiting beliefs, to have  the desired fruits. The fruits of life are love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. 

You may have heard the phrase, external locus of control. That is when your happiness is derived from events outside yourself.

Today I want to talk about an, internal locus of control. That means fixing the root vs fixing the fruits. Putting our focus on beliefs, our roots not our behaviors, the fruit.

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Fixing the root:  your limiting beliefs

In other words, If you want to change the visible, you must first change the invisible.” If you want to change the fruit, you must plant a different seed.

We will look at both of these phrases today because we want to, fixing the root and not the fruit.

Internal locus of control, means that control comes from within. You have personal control over your own behavior. When you have an, internal locus of control, you believe you have personal agency over your own life and actions. Because of this, these people tend to have more, self-efficacy.

If you have an, internal locus of control, you will not let people push your buttons. Firstly, let’s look at people finding our soft underbelly and deliberately pushing it to get a reaction from us. We’ve all had our buttons pushed to the point where we feel we can’t take it anymore. The button pusher may or may not be aware that they are exposing your unresolved hurt or trauma, but the truth of the matter is that the buttons belong to us, and we are the ones who must deal with what comes up. The more we take responsibility for our own feelings and reactions, the less tender these buttons will be.

That is why, fixing the root, and not the fruit is important

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Fix the root of the problem

When you, fix your root, and be at peace with yourself you will find the peace that defies all understanding that Jesus preached about.

The button pushers will stop trying to get a reaction from you, the bully’s will stop trying to make you feel bad about yourself etc.

For the longest time my button was my age. I understand why that guy called Lebron James old. He is a button pusher. He was pushing Lebron’s buttons not sure if Lebron James was ruffled by that or he was secure in his roots. I have fixed my roots on my age issue. Change the way you think of a thing and the thing you think of will change.

So, fixing the root, will have you worrying less about your fruit. By fruit I mean your behavior when someone is nasty to you, call you names, or pushes your buttons, you can just respond by saying that is me. I accept it or that is not me and I reject that. I am not letting that stick to me.

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Internal Control Personality Characteristics

Here are some characteristics we get after, fixing the root.

  • Hard working– always putting in effort to achieve goals
  • Confident – recognizing the skills and knowledge required to overcome challenges
  • Physical healthy – considering it their active obligation to eat healthily, partake in regular exercise, and remaining diligent in keeping up with medical appointments
  • Responsible – holding themselves accountable for successes and their mistakes or failures
  • Positive – feeling happiness, peaceful, and relaxed about the future because increased control over life leads to minimal stress
  • Independent – not relying on others for success
  • Studious – valuing knowledge and the skills it contributes to overcome obstacles
  • High self-esteem – respectful of oneself and confident in abilities
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External Control Personality Characteristics

When we don't, fix the root, here are the fruits we will reap.

Those with an external control also display a particular set of personality characteristics.

  • Insecure – not confident in their own abilities and continually doubting they can accomplish difficult goals. Low self-esteem.
  • Dependent – reliance on other people for tasks they are capable of doing without assistance
  • Hopeless – feeling emotions like “what’s the point” or as if any response to a life event is futile
  • Passive – resigning effort to surmount challenges because their actions won’t make a difference in the outcome
  • Indecisive – events are not analyzed to the fullest causing difficulty to make concrete decisions

 

https://youtu.be/3pydfBQ5DSs

Additional Resources

https://myhelps.us/jim-rohn-how-improve-yourself/

 

Friday, May 5, 2023

Coach Myrna: Let's Talk About Casual Sex

 

My grandmother taught me if you give away the cow, then there is no reason to purchase the milk.  What that means if you practice casual sex, there is no reason for a man to marry you.

I got inspiration for this episode from the Fresh and Fit podcast. My son introduced me to this podcast. They have the men market covered. So since this is #1 self-improvement podcast in the world for women, I thought I should get into the conversation and share my wisdom.  The first episode I watched on the Fresh and Fit podcast was about what a high value man looks for in a woman. Good information, I realized immediately that they were picking up where, Kevin Samuels, left off.

Download the podcast here:

https://2.gum.fm/https://pdcn.co/e/https://chrt.fm/track/897G7/https://verifi.podscribe.com/rss/p/www.buzzsprout.com/1761155/12779334-coach-myrna-let-s-talk-about-casual-sex.mp3?download=true

High Value man and casual sex

I will have a future episode on what is a, high value man, and what they look for in a woman, because ladies you at least need to know what men are thinking. Thus, the book and movie Think Like a man.  But today I want to address the phenomena of casual sex. That is women sleeping with men who don’t even call you their girlfriend or woman, much less wife. On the Fresh and Fit podcast they interview women and ask them about their body count aka how many men they have slept with because ladies it matter to a man who wants to make you his woman or wife.

So how did we get here? How did we get from women being virgins on our wedding day to discussing our body count?

I believe that someone put out the false narrative that sex is the way to a man’s heart.

My grandmother always told me that food was the way to a man’s heart that is why women over 40 know how to cook a good meal not an air fryer meal. The new generation do not even know how to cook and today everybody should be able to cook. When I first got married, I used to call my mom and ask her how to cook stuff. My daughter has never called me and asked me how to cook stuff because all she has to do is go on Google or YouTube for a recipe.

The Transform Your Mind Podcast is the #1 Personal Development Podcast for women in the world.

[caption id="attachment_3890" align="alignnone" width="300"]Life Coach Myrna Young Life Coach Myrna Young[/caption]

https://blog.feedspot.com/personal_development_podcasts_for_women/

What a High value man looks for in a woman

I talked to my brother, a high value man, and asked him if he cares how many men his woman slept with and he told me he wouldn’t want to know. My follow up question was let’s say she slept with 30 men he almost had a conniption. He said that is almost a roulette wheel. A roulette wheel has 32 numbers. Some women get to 30 men body count in a few years.

So back to the Fresh and Fit podcast. I was trying to find that episode on the high value man and I came across the episode that was a tribute to, Kevin Samuels

It was a call-in show and one guy told a story of how he met a girl in a restaurant and totally ignored her. When he left the restaurant, she walked up to him and asked him “You want my number” and he said no.

So, she Dm’d him on Instagram and they started talking. A few weeks later she asked him if he wanted to come over. He said Yes

So, he went to her apartment and a short time later she was giving him oral sex and then according to him he was smashing it.

Then he left and never called her again and she was blowing up his phone and he never called her back.

His conclusion, the more badly you treat a woman the more she wants you.

[caption id="attachment_3581" align="alignnone" width="300"]Transform your Mind Podbean Transform your Mind Podbean[/caption]

Casual sex and your value as a woman

Men actually believe this because women always seem to love the bad boys. You seen the Whitney Houston documentary?

So, let’s dissect all the things this girl did wrong

Firstly, ladies’ men are hunters, let them hunt. Do not throw yourself at a man. If has the same effect as him finding a dead dog at his door. That’s why women in the olden days played hard to get. This allowed the men to go fishing and enjoy reeling in their catch.

# 2 Why would you invite a man to your house for sex and he hasn’t even invited you out on a date? I am trying to get into her head. Did she think she had skills and that was the way to his heart?

Ladies, according to Andre Paradis, relationship coach, the moment you have sex with a man his emotional connection with you halts. I do not know about all that, I do know that if marriage is your end game no man marries a ho.

One of the topics on the Fresh and Fit podcast is about body count. No man wants to be where everyone else been, that is why they asked the question.

If you haven’t watched the movie, Think Like a Man you need to go watch it. Steve Harvey laid out some rules like the fundamentals, Have the man call you his girlfriend before you take the cooked out of the cookie jar. Let him wait 90 days before you engage in casual sex, in the meantime let him wine and dine you. Let him work for your cookie.

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Conclusion: let the man court you before engaging in sex

Casual sex, or giving away your milk before they buy the cow, will make you end up old and alone. I hope this helps someone.

Thanks for tuning into the transform Your mind to transform your life the podcast.  I would love to hear your comments in chat.

https://youtu.be/4uHJi7fFQP0

Additional Resources

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Saturday, April 29, 2023

Dr William Li: How To Burn Fat With Food

  


Dr William Li, author of Eat To beat Your Diet, shares the fat burning foods we should add to our diet, to be able to burn away harmful, body fat. The fat that is wrapping around your blood vessels serves as fuel tanks for the energy that we eat in our food. You do not have to go on a restrictive elimination deprivation diet, all you have to do is to add certain foods to your diet, to be able to burn away harmful, body fat.

Brown fat, burns down, white fat, it fights bad fat. Eating food can help your good fat, fight bad fat. That's kind of a mind-blowing concept. You can eat foods to, burn fat.

Download the podcast here: 

https://2.gum.fm/https://pdcn.co/e/https://chrt.fm/track/897G7/https://verifi.podscribe.com/rss/p/www.buzzsprout.com/1761155/12747582-dr-william-li-how-to-burn-fat-with-food.mp3?download=true

Bio

Dr. William Li is an internationally renowned physician, scientist, and author of the New York Times bestseller, Eat to Beat Disease: The New Science of How Your Body Can Heal Itself. His groundbreaking research has led to the development of more than 30 new medical treatments that impact care for more than 70 diseases, including diabetes, blindness, heart disease, and obesity.

His TED Talk, “Can We Eat to Starve Cancer?” has garnered more than 11 million views. Dr. Li has appeared on Good Morning America, CNN, CNBC, Rachel Rayand Live with Kelly & Ryanand he has been featured in USA Today, Time Magazine, The Atlantic, and O Magazine. He is the President and Medical Director of the Angiogenesis Foundation, which leads global initiatives on food as medicine. His newest book, Eat to Beat Your Diet: Burn Fat, Heal Your Metabolism, and Live Longer, was released on March 21, 2023.

Myrna: Dr Li, I heard that our digestive system is unique, like our fingerprints so is that why each person responds differently to food?

[caption id="attachment_7034" align="alignnone" width="300"]book: Eat to beat your diet Book: Eat to Beat Your Diet[/caption]

We all come out of the box with the same amount of fat cells

Dr Li: What a great question Myrna, so basically, here's what we know from the latest research. Our bodies are hardwired to work in a certain way, our heart beats in a certain way, our digestive systems work in a certain way, our brains, our eyes, our fingers and toes were all engineered to work in a specific way, it's largely the same for everyone. Our fat cells all function a certain way. And I'll give you an example of what I mean by largely the same.

If you and I went to our own respective computer stores to buy a laptop, the same laptop. All right, and we pulled it out of the box in our own homes, and we plugged it in booted it up. Okay the operating system of that laptop, if you've got the same model, should work exactly the same way as mine. But over time, I'm slaving away at my computer or you're slaving away at yours. The way that our laptop functions, how efficiently and the speed is going to change.

I download a lot of stuff. I have a lot of documents, so I'm sure my computer is going to be slower than yours. But my point is that we all come out of the box the same way. But then individually we develop our own thing. So, our, digestive system, is hardwired to digest the food we put into our mouth. Our brain senses the food, our pancreas, one of our endocrine organs releases insulin. Insulin helps us draw energy out of our food. The energy is packed into our cells, including our, fat cells, and then the food trickles down through our small intestines.

We absorb all the nutrients; it keeps on tumbling further down. And guess what, it feeds our healthy gut bacteria, in our gut. Healthy gut bacteria are very important for overall health. And then finally, you know, we eliminate everything else, we put the poop everything else out. And that's really how we're generally hardwired. So, any deviation from that general pathway winds up being largely the result of who we are, how we live, things we are exposed to. And that's the individualization. So, I'm telling you that we all actually are designed to work the same way, but we are all also individuals.

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Are tomatoes good for us

Myrna: In your book summary, you list probably about a dozen, fat burning foods, that we're supposed to eat to burn fat, Eat to beat our diet. And right at the top there you've got, tomatoes, but Dr. Stephen Gundry says that tomatoes is not a vegetable. It's a fruit and it is bad for us because it's a lectin.  So, tell us why did you put tomatoes at the top of your list?

Dr Li: Listen, I love tomatoes. First of all, my work is really focused on what are the foods that we should Add to our lifestyle to enhance our health. There's a lot of people out there who are very well intentioned and very smart, but they focus on things to cut out of your life. Tomatoes are not one of them. That is why I wrote the book "Eat to Beat Your Diet."

There was a study called the Harvard health professional study that looked at 35,000 men over 25 years. And what they found when they measured tomatoes that people were eating, they found that men who he ate cooked tomatoes, two to three times a week, lowered the risk of, prostate cancer, by about 30%.  So, tomatoes are one of the, foods that prevent cancer.

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Tomatoes are foods that starve cancer

The reason is because tomatoes contain a natural chemical found in nature called, lycopene. Lycopene, naturally, is very beneficial because when we eat it, it goes into our body. And one of the things that lycopene does in our body is it prevents cancer cells from being able to get its own blood supply. So, it literally cuts off the blood flow that might be feeding a cancer. So, you'd starve the cancer by eating tomatoes.

Okay. Lots of plants have hundreds of, lectins. And it’s true, some that are extremely poisonous, but none of those poisonous ones are in, tomatoes.

Myrna: Wow, that is why tomatoes are at the top of your list.  It is one of the, foods that prevent cancer. I have sautéed tomatoes with onions and chickpeas in my fridge right now!

Dr Li: By the way, chickpeas, which are also incredibly nutritious, a good source of protein, good source of dietary fibers, that's a good polyphenol in it are another metabolism activating food that is really healthy. So, when you talk about you know putting tomatoes with chickpeas and onions, that is really healthy.  Onions have a natural substance in it called quercetin. Quercetin activates your metabolism it helps burn harmful body fat as well.

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Should we fear fat?

Myrna; I absolutely love it.  I heard you talk about Fat. Should we fear fat?

Dr Li: So, all of us have stepped out of the shower in the morning, looked out of the corner of our eye in the mirror and you see a lump of fat or a bump that you don't want to be there, right. So, what do you do immediately? You're like, Oh, I gotta work out. I gotta eat better. I got to do it. The next thing you do you step on a scale. Right? And if that number isn't the exact number you're hoping for, it makes you mad. Now, it's not just in the shower, but in the grocery store at the meat counter. If you see a big thick rind of fat around a steak or something you go I am not going to eat that.

Myrna: So even if you buy it, you cut it out.

Dr Li: But here's the bottom line. This is our adult reaction effect, but you know there's another adult reaction effect. What happens when we see a baby we smile, we love seeing fat babies.

Myrna: That is exactly where I am right now. My daughter just had a preemie baby. And I would love for her to be fat!

Dr Li: Well, wait a minute, obviously fat cannot be all bad, maybe the adult reaction is just the wrong instinct. It turns out, our, body fat, was created when we were still in our mom's womb. One of the first tissues that form is our blood vessels, and that's what I studied blood vessels. Why? Because every organ and every cell in the body requires blood flow, needs nutrients. Okay, that makes a lot of sense the next tissue that forms is our nerves, and the reason is that every organ ultimately would need instructions and nerves. The next tissue is our, Fat cells, called, adipose tissue, or adipose cells.

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Fat cells serves as the fuel tank

Fat cells, that form in the womb resemble a piece of bubble wrap. Every little bubble in bubble wrap is a, fat cell, and this fat is around blood vessels. The fat is wrapping around because it serves as fuel tanks for the energy that we eat in our food. So, let's park the fuel tanks of fat right next to where the fuel is coming from and our blood.

Here's exactly how our body works. This is a simple way for everyone to understand, metabolism. Our metabolism is how our body that gets fuel from into our, fat cells. And the fuel that we have comes from food. We eat the food there's fuel our metabolism picks up fuel puts it into the fuel tank and when our fuel tank starts running on empty, we pull over to the dinner table.

We pull over to the refrigerator or to the restaurant or the pantry. Okay, and what we're doing like choosing the food that we eat, we're actually giving ourselves energy and filling up our tanks. Now two things. Know that you can actually fill your car your engine with better quality gas versus really poor-quality gas.

When you use high quality gas, you know that your car is going to run longer and better more efficiently over a long haul. That is basically the same analogy as food when we choose a good quality fuel food. It's good quality fuel for our body, our engine is going to run better, if you deliberately choose poor quality foods our body will not run as good. So again, the quality of the of the fuel of the food that we eat makes a big difference.

[caption id="attachment_4490" align="alignnone" width="297"]Transform Your Mind Luminary podcast Transform Your Mind Luminary podcast[/caption]

Your metabolism is derived from the quality of your food

You’ve also got to make sure you don’t overeat. You're filling up your fuel tank and there is no clicker like at the gas station. When you overeat, inflammation sets in and now you've got inflamed fat that's on the fire and that inflammation leaks out and it's all over your body. Now your whole body's inflamed and that's what sets us up for chronic disease.

So, the good news, I kind of just giving you some bad news, fat burning foods, will help us burn down the extra fuel stored in our fuel tank. And that is really why I call my latest book “Eat to Beat your diet.” You do not have to go on a restrictive elimination deprivation diet to add to your diet to be able to, burn fat,  away harmful, Right? It's more joyful to know what are the foods that, burn fat, that you should add to your diet?

Myrna: How does, intermittent fasting, play into this fat burning system? I had two or three guests on the show, talk about, intermittent fasting. I am doing it myself right now. And I'm working with a 15-hour, intermittent fast.  My question is that I heard you say a 12 hour fast is almost as beneficial as a 15,16, 24 hours fast. Can you explain why that is?

[caption id="attachment_4373" align="alignnone" width="220"]Transform Your Mind Podcast Pandora Transform Your Mind Podcast Pandora[/caption]

Intermittent fasting is not a new thing

Dr Li: Well, look I mean the there's a new scientific metabolism that helps explain why, intermittent fasting, is beneficial.  Intermittent fasting, isn't just sort of this newfangled fad or trend that somebody came up with that lots of people are following now. It's the most natural thing and who we are as a people. If we fast for 16 hours and eat for 8 hours, we will lose weight, our body will reset, our metabolic markers will improve.  All of that, but since 16 hours without food is so hard for everyone to do, I say a 12 hour fast is more manageable and give you the same benefits.

Myrna: Tell us about your book “Eat to Beat your You Diet: Burn Fat, Heal Your Metabolism, and Live Longer. We talked about everything except living longer. But we know that when we put good fuel in our body, then we live longer. So why did you write the book? Tell us what you want readers to walk away with after reading, your website, your social media handles, etc.

Di Li: Thank you very much for that for allowing me talk about my book. So, we already talked a lot about the things that are in my book, but I'll explain. When you get my book, It’s in three parts. The first part tells you these amazing jaw dropping things, that caused my jaw to drop, and my eyes to open about our metabolism. So, here's just a couple of teasers for you. We are not born with different metabolisms; we're not born with a faster or slower metabolism. Turns out our metabolism doesn't automatically slow when we hit our 40s and 50s and 60s. Amazingly, our metabolism from the age of 20 to 60 is rock able.

[caption id="attachment_4378" align="alignnone" width="300"]Transform Your Mind Podcast Player FM Transform Your Mind Podcast Player FM[/caption]

Our metabolism does not slow down with age

That's how we're designed, our operating system is designed in our adult life to be completely stable. And so, what happens is that not that a slow metabolism causes us to gain weight. It's gaining weight and growing extra, body fat, slows down our metabolism. You're not cursed with this. You have a tendency to make a decision to use food, use fasting, use your lifestyle to, burn fat. When you burn away the extra fat, you lighten up your body. What happens is your natural operating system your metabolism naturally rises to the surface.

You are in charge of your metabolism because it's hardwired. It's like putting an anti-virus program into your computer so that your operating system can work again. That's powerful. That's very, empowering. And that's a section in my book and then talking about some really interesting parts of that.

Did you know that fat comes in different colors? Fat is brown or fat is white. Those are the two colors. White fat, is lumpy, bumpy, wiggly, jiggly. It's the stuff on your arms, under your chin. White fat is the muffin top. Okay, it's on your thighs. It's on your butt. That's the stuff that most people see. Because it's under the skin, subcutaneous tissue.

But the stuff you can't see, that's also, white fat, and some stuff that's packed into your body. This fat is called, visceral fat, visceral meaning gut, gut fat. And that's why when you actually gain weight, your waist size increases. That's a lot of, gut fat, but you can burn it off it with foods I talk about in my book.

[caption id="attachment_3955" align="alignnone" width="208"]Google Podcast Transform Your Mind Google Podcast Transform Your Mind[/caption]

Brown fat vs White fat

The other kind of fat, the good kind of fat is not lumpy, bumpy wiggly, generally. It's called, brown fat. And in this case, Brown fat, is the kind that you want because it is paper thin. And you're like, What? What are you talking about? Fat is thin?  Yes, It is like a piece of paper and it's not close to the skin. It is close to the bone. All right, and where is it located? It is plastered on the side of your neck. It's underneath your breastbone. It's around under your arms like a girdle and a little bit behind your back, and a little bit in your belly. And what, brown fat, does is ignites; it lights up fat like a space heater.

But so will foods like, chili peppers, tomatoes, pomegranate juice, avocados, beans, chickpeas, all these foods I talk about in my book. Brown fat, burns down, white fat, it fights bad fat. Eating food can help your good fat fight bad fat. That is that's kind of a mind-blowing concept. You can eat foods to fight fat. So, this is why I called my book “Eat to Beat Your Diet.

Now the middle of the book is actually me taking you grocery shopping. And the way that I wrote is, I imagined you the reader sitting in my grocery cart, the way you used to sit in your mom's grocery cart as a kid. In this case, I'm pushing you in my grocery cart and I'm whispering in your ear as we go around the grocery store. What's good for your metabolism, what, foods burn fat. We go through to the produce section. We pick up the avocados, and bell peppers we pick up the Bok choy, we pick up the onions etc. I write about 150 foods you can find in the grocery store at any budget.

The last section of my book,  the third part is really me coaching you how to adapt this to your everyday life. I give you kind of guidelines and some tips  on how to do it and the most important thing is to personalize it for yourself make it work for  you.

You can pick up a copy of my book in any book store or on my web site www.drwilliamli.com all my social media handles is @drwilliamli. If you head to my website, you can sign up for my free newsletter where I give you tips about food and recipes and any research that I'm doing.

https://youtu.be/8A9zO6hQcTc

Additional Resources

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Thursday, April 27, 2023

Why Do We Create Unhappiness?

 

Does your unhappiness have a purpose? Does your negativity change anything? The answer is no, so why do we choose it?

I just finished reading the book The Power of The Now by Eckhart Tolle and he made the statement that we chose unhappiness even though it serves no purpose. He asked the does your unhappiness change anything?

Download the podcast here: 

https://2.gum.fm/https://pdcn.co/e/https://chrt.fm/track/897G7/https://verifi.podscribe.com/rss/p/www.buzzsprout.com/1761155/12721296-why-do-we-create-unhappiness.mp3?download=true

Childhood unhappiness: Did it serve you

The book the Course in Miracles states that we believe that when we are unhappy our unhappiness buys us what we want. Not true in fact it pushes what you want further away.

Take a child who has conscious parents. Let’s say the child decides to throw a temper tantrum because they want to watch TV or they want a toy or candy. Any good parent will not give it to them, in fact if my kids threw a tantrum or cried for anything, they never got that thing.  Just recently my foster daughter cried because she wanted to watch TV and she thought crying and carrying on would get her TV instead the TV was removed from her room. So, if crying and unhappiness did not get us what we wanted as children, why do you still use it as adults?

All negativity is resistance. Negativity ranges from irritation to fierce anger.

The ego believes that through negativity, it can change reality and get what it wants. It believes that through unhappiness it can attract a desirable condition or dissolve an undesirable one.

If your mind did not believe that unhappiness works, then why would it create it?

[caption id="attachment_5929" align="alignnone" width="130"]Podbay FM Transform Your Mind Podcast Podbay FM[/caption]

Negativity keeps undesirable conditions in place

The fact is that negativity does not work; instead of attracting a desirable condition, it stops it from arising. Instead of resolving an undesirable one it keeps if in place.

Its only useful function of negativity, is that it strengthens the ego and that is why the ego loves it.

What is the ego? The ego is that portion of the human personality which is experienced as the “self” or “I” and is in contact with the external world through perception.

No other life form on the planet knows negativity, only humans. Just as no other life form poisons the earth that sustains it. Have you ever seen 2 ducks fight? They fight and then go their separate ways and then flap their wings to release the negativity and they are done. Humans carry around that negativity for decades. He did that to me! This negativity becomes, depression.

There is a line in the Matrix that says that Humans destroy their environment or land and then moves on the next place. What are you destroying with your unhappiness?

[caption id="attachment_5322" align="alignnone" width="300"]Transform Your Mind Podverse.fm Transform Your Mind Podverse.fm[/caption]

What is the purpose of unhappiness

Think about it. Has nagging your spouse ever resulted in him becoming the spouse that you want them to be or did it have the opposite effect? That is why the Bible teaches that a man would rather live on the roof top than live in a house with a nagging wife.

So today, I want to shine a light on unhappiness. Why do we create it if it does not get us what we want?

There are life situations that create unhappiness

[caption id="attachment_5230" align="alignnone" width="300"]Podmust Transform Your Mind podcast Podmust Transform Your Mind podcast[/caption]

How to be happy:  we have 3 choices:

  • We can remove ourselves from the situation
  • We can change how we think about the situation
  • Or we can accept the situation completely.

These are the options in, how to be happy. What good does it we do none of the these things, but just live with unhappiness? If you can successfully find which negative behavioral and cognitive patterns are making you unhappy, and address them, you’ll be able to start feeling happier in less time than you may think.

I will tell you what it does. It creates disease in the body and sends you to an early grave, but it never gets you what you want. Unhappiness serves no purpose other than to make you sick.

Even if you throw a temper tantrum and you get the toy in the store or your spouse gives in. Ultimately your unhappiness returns. It is only temporarily satiated.

https://youtu.be/Otb9SFkHB30

Conclusion

Thanks for tuning into this week’s episode of 5 min Fridays with coach Myrna.

Please subscribe to our YouTube channel and leave a review on iTunes

https://myhelps.us/find-your-purpose-whats-in-hand/

Sunday, April 23, 2023

Using Emotional Mastery to Heal Childhood Trauma



We all know that children from zero to seven are all like little sponges, downloading everything. This is when the, mother wound, gets started. Mothers, are nurturers if the child is not getting nurtured, they fail to thrive.

I want to say that I personally have not had a, mother wound.  My, mother, and I are pretty close. I'm the eldest of four children and my, mother, she's actually my best friend. But I understand the pain from the, mother wound. I adopted three children from the, foster care, system who were heavily wounded by their, mothers.  They all had, abandonment, issues so,  I experienced firsthand how the, mother wound, affected every aspect of their lives.

The girls became promiscuous with men and boys, wanted friends and have people like them. Also because of the, mother wound, they were not being able to bond with me or my husband, because another bi-product of the, mother wound, is, attachment disorder, so the adoption was not successful in integrating our families.

My guest today is Keri Hummingbird, author of “Love is Fierce: Healing the Mother Wound. If you or anyone you know need healing from, mother wounds, this is the episode for you.

Listen to the full interview here:

https://www.buzzsprout.com/1761155/8661790.mp3

 

Introduction

Keri Hummingbird Sami is a soul guide, shamanic healer, award winning author and inspirational speaker. Kerri has over 20 years of experience in helping women rewrite the story of their lives through inner transformation, connection to essence, remembrance of purpose and realignment to authenticity and truth.

Myrna – Kerri what was your relationship with your mother like? Were you wounded by your, mother?

Kerri – Myrna even though your personal experience with your, mother, from your vantage point is very healed, which is a beautiful gift, there is like an ocean of not healed women on the planet. Having a, mother, as a life preserver who knows how to love is so beautiful and really pivotal because everything that happens in our early life, starting from the moment of conception is being recorded.

Starting from the moment of conception in the mother's womb, babies are being formed in the, consciousness, of the, mother, it can't be any other way. You're inside the, mother, you’re being formed by the, mother's, beliefs about herself, beliefs about the world, ancestral traumas that are unhealed; all of it goes inside of our ancestral DNA in our very human bodies.

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Your Communication with your mother starts in the womb

Just imagine that the voice that you speak to yourself with it starts forming when you're being formed inside your, mother's womb, so however your, mother, speaks to herself is how you start to learn to speak to yourself. If the, mother, is not confident or if she's had sexual traumas or if she does not believe in herself that's going to influence your development. If the, mother, believes in herself, if she's strong, if she's vibrant then you're getting that. You're getting that training inside as you're growing inside her body.

They've proven now that babies are able to perceive outside the womb, they're able to perceive not only what's going on inside the, mother, but also the outside environment. Babies can perceive things, they can hear voices, a vibration happens they can feel things, they sense things.

So, the beginning of education in earth school starts from the moment of conception. We all know that children from zero to seven are all like little sponges, downloading everything. This is when the, mother wound, gets started. Mothers, are nurturers if the child is not getting nurtured, they fail to thrive.

 

If a child is not being nurtured by the mother they develop a mother wound

If you experience a big loss like an, abandonment, early in that zero to seven age range, that's hugely impacting. Anywhere along your development from zero to twenty-one, anything that happens is going to be huge for you, because all of your various bodies are getting developed.

Your physical body is getting developed first, then your emotional body is getting developed then your mental body is getting developed, then your spiritual body gets developed until age 28, so all of these bodies are being formed. Everything that happens in your life experience is like creating the context of your life, the inner context.

Myrna - In this moment anyone who is a, mother, should take that role seriously. It's a big responsibility. Before I got into this consciousness space and this self-improvement space I would hear them talk about the men or women who are in prison and blame their parents. It all starts with their, mother wound.

I always thought it was a big old blame game, but now I know it's true the, mother wound, develops into so many unfortunate situations.

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Your Mother Wound affects your children

Kerri - I want to reassure every, mother, because when I started learning about the, mother wound, I started going to self-judgment. I look at oldest child especially how his life rolled out. He's really struggling with this and that and I was struggling with the same things while he was in me. I had a lot of, mental health, challenges that I’d been working on when I was pregnant with him at 30.

I had already been working on it for 15 years from the time I was 15 years old because I had early, childhood trauma, so I was trying to heal and I thought I had it all together and then he came into my womb.

This happens to a lot of, mothers, because you get pregnant and then your whole physiology changes. Any traumas from your childhood comes right up to the surface. You start having, postpartum depression, or other things and you're like why is this happening. I was really excited to have this baby. Why am I going through, postpartum depression?

Having a baby, it's like the big purge. One of the reasons for, postpartum depression, is not dealing with stuff from your past or not dealing with your, mother wounds. Psychology makes an effort in helping, mothers, to cope with this kind of thing. I even invested in psychotherapy.
I would sit there every week and like try to work on myself.

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How the mother wound affects your romantic relationships

Myrna - If you're abandoned by your mom or hurt by your mom, the, mother wound, it's very hard for you to love yourself, then you can't really be in romantic relationships.

You have to remove the subconscious programming that says you are not good enough and learn to love yourself.  If you can't release the, mother wound, and love yourself, you will continue to struggle in romantic relationships. You must gain control of your life as it deals with this issue of the, mother wound?

Kerri - I think that subconscious holds the keys to all of it because if you think about this concept of the iceberg submerged in the ocean. The part you see above the water is the conscious mind, but there's so much more underneath the surface.

There's so much to explore about your own consciousness to understand yourself better, so that you can show up even better.

You didn't choose to be molested , you didn't choose to be abandoned, you didn't choose to be hurt by your, mother, and have a, mother wound.

According to according to Dr Wayne Dyer's teaching he says we chose our parents, because we needed that experience in order to do what we have to do in this earth.

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Psychotherapy can help to heal the mother wound

My journey in psychotherapy helped my understanding of why I had a, mother wound. The home I grew up in from the time I was five years old, was very solid. My mom and my dad worked as a team. I didn't always like the things that they told me I had to do, but they were caring, they were loving and attentive.

We had three-way hugs in a supportive family environment. We went sailing on the weekends, we had a nice life. So I was like, why am I so screwed up? I had this feeling that something got broken inside of me from my early childhood, because I knew that there was trauma from zero to five years old.

It was a big trauma. My mom married a man who was probably not suited to be a dad. He had his own trauma story from his own childhood of being abused by his mother and left outside of hotel rooms while she slept with men and things like that. He was abandoned in hotels for days, so we had all these traumas he was working through.

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Unresolved Wounds from your childhood affects your ability to parent

My, mother, started noticing that there was a really good possibility that he was going to molest me. I want to give my mom huge props, because many, mothers, stay in a situation like that afraid to leave, but my, mother, was a warrior of love. So left and found the next best pathway and that was my first step father.

My first stepfather was a violent drunk, so it was very traumatic. So by the time I was five after four years with this violent step father, we moved and just by chance met my second stepfather who I call my dad. He is the man my, mother, has been with for 45 years until he passed away three years ago.

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Spirituality is the path to healing the mother wound

I started my spiritual path and for me that was the opening because it taped into beyond the mind, it taped into the body where a lot of trauma is stored. Many people know trauma is stored in the body and it taps into the emotional body. When you're a child and you're seeing these scary things happening, you don't have words to talk. You don't have language.

As an adult, you have to go deeper into the body, the somatic experience. You have to go into inner child healing, and make friends with all these aspects of you and become their parents. It's really about re-mothering yourself and the re-mothering process takes some time because
of those early conditionings.

You have to stay in the conversation of love and kindness and gentleness long enough for it to start to sink in, and for these aspects to heal. Along that journey all kinds of modalities might happen for you. I found mine in a shaman. Somebody told me they got healed by a shaman and I was like sign me up.

Podcast Land 

 

How can men heal the mother wound?

What are men's role in healing the, mother wound? A lot of times men add it to the damage that the, mother, started and then the men compound the, mother wound.

Kerri - Men can help by healing the mother wounds inside of them, because all men were boys and they came out of a, mother, so that's why the solution is the, mother, because we all live in a, mother, to begin life. So, in order to heal we all have to walk back to the, mother.

Your relationship with your, mother, and the programming of love that you received from your, mother, is also your trust in your connection with the divine and earth. It's a multi-dimensional conversation, because whatever lack of trust you have with your biological mother, that same lack of trust can show up in your connection with the divine, in your connection with the planet.

If you're disregarding your body, you're probably also disregarding your impact on the earth.

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Why did you write the book “Love is Fierce: healing the mother wound”?

Kerri - My book uses my personal experience to illustrate various points that are very common across humanity so, there's a lot of themes in the book that talk about why it is that we are in the situation we're in right now. Why we have so much war and conflict, misunderstanding and divides between people. This is because of the breakdown of the matriarchy. The breakdown of the feminine and how a lot of the patterns we see are derived directly from breakdown of that primary relationship with the, mother.

I had to go through the deep inner work to write the book and to reveal the patterns, but honestly I've been working on this project my entire life.

Myrna - I understand, you had 20 years in psychotherapy. This project allowed you to heal your, mother wound, and also heal the, mother wounds, of your children.

Myrna - Where can our listeners connect with you get a copy of your book? How can they connect with you on social media and your website?

Kerri- They can connect with me on my website www.kerrihummingbird.com
On the website there is a link to sign up for 17 days of interviews on the return of mother wisdom, which I find to be really inspiring. I interviewed all these women and they have these beautiful things to say about where we're going with humanity on the earth.

You can purchase the book on amazon and then you can take your confirmation number over to www.motherwoundbook.com  (receive 17 days of interviews for the Return of Mother Wisdom Series)

I also have a podcast called the Soul Nectar Show, I hope you're going to come and be a guest on the show.

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Friday, April 21, 2023

Your Suffering is Part Of Gods Plan




As Christian’s we just celebrated Jesus the Christ and the fact that he bore our sins on the cross. His suffering and the shedding of his blood is the symbol of our deliverance and, God plan. He died as Jesus and arose as, Jesus Christ.

Jesus transformed into The Christ. Christ is the spirit that lives in all Christian’s baptized in the Holy Spirit.

There is no Christ without the cross.  The same goes for everyone else. Suffering is part of Gods plan to open the door to your enlightenment.
In this episode of 5 min Fridays with coach Myrna, I share how to use your suffering as your spiritual practice.

Download the podcast here:

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Suffering is the doorway to enlightenment.

Enlightenment is the resurrection.

So, if you are suffering right now, pick up your cross and carry it. Know that God will send someone to help you carry your cross, and at the end of your suffering, because it will end, you will receive your reward.

The Bible says weeping may endure for a night but joy comes in the morning.

At the end of your suffering, you will be transformed.

Jeremiah 29:11

"For I know the plans I have for you" declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future"

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Gods plan is to get you to your purpose and destiny

Gods plan, is a detailed proposal to get you to your, purpose and destiny.

God has a plan for your life he will not answer any prayer that works against the plans he had for your life.

So Pray according to, God’s plan, and say if it is your will God, then I will obey.

Jesus said “Fatherif you are willing, take this cup away from me—nevertheless, not my willbut yours, be done.

You discover the details of, Gods plan, by walking by faith.

Gods plan, will not destroy you, your suffering is only temporary.

Your suffering is part of, Gods plan, to make you stronger.

Your suffering could be to bless the people connected to you.

Trust that all things work together for your good.

Sometimes Gods answer is not yet.

Not at this moment, but expect it later.

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How to Pray like Jesus

Learn to pray like Jesus, father if it is your will take this cup of suffering away from me. God’s answer could be immediate or his answer may be not yet. Carry your cross just like Jesus did. He knew it was his purpose and that is why he came. Most of us do not know why we came, but I can guarantee you if you are suffering it is meant to teach you something that you need to accomplish your purpose.

Suffering is the doorway to your transformation.

Most of us suffer in relationships, but if we are conscious and aware, we will see that we are building strength and character going through and then one day, you get your joy back. One day you arose. One day you got your grove back.

Your suffering becomes your spiritual practice that leads to your awakening.

Accept your suffering like Jesus did. The miracle is in the surrender.

This is how surrendering, far from waving the white flag, becomes the ultimate tool for empowerment and positive action.

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When you surrender suffering stops

When you are able to stop wallowing in the unfairness of what life dealt you and all of the shoulds that never came to be, your mind will be free from suffering. Suffering also stops when you surrender to the present moment and  rumination and recrimination about the past.

When I stopped fighting with my situation, my scope and options for positive action became clear, and at that point I was in full control of the little space in life that I actually could control—me.

When I stopped questioning the situation in which I found myself. Some of it was unfair, the result of what I took to be other people’s unjust actions, but at the same time, a lot of it was the result of my own actions, as well as pure chance. While I learned some lessons looking backward, the key to my recovery was accepting where I was and look forward to how to get myself out of it.

My immediate action was to seek help, first from friends and then from a therapist, something I would have previously stigmatized as self-indulgent. Overcoming the shame of that opened the floodgates of what was possible for me, and everything was up for grabs. I learned to surrender.

https://youtu.be/8MY32lR4Ii8

Conclusion

Thanks for tuning in to this week’s episode of 5 min Fridays with coach Myrna.  Hope to see you back her next week same time for another episode.  Until next time namaste. If you have not done so already please subscribe to iTunes and leave a review.

https://myhelps.us/how-god-uses-coincidence-our-destiny/